No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
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I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
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I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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