Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
