so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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