Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize