I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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