You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Randomize
