idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
