Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
