Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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