Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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