you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize