its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
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you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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