he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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