Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
