Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
