Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
