If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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