and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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