Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
