You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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