i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
