Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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