I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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