So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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