My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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