I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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