i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
