after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
