Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
