I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The air was thick with penises
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
