It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
