i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
