Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
pray to the hookup gods
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
