I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
