My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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