I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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