My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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