ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
