It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
