I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
