I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize