well you can't waste a boner
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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