The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
