Will you blow on my dice?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
birth control should be required to get into college
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
