I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
