Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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