Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
