Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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