I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
