At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
