We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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