Yo dont text me then not text me
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
