Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize