apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize