i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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