Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize