I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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