Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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