A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
