I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Come see our sink grown plant.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
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I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Even my vagina gasped.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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