You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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